"i'm not even on drugs. i'm just weird"~ Alex Gaskarth

i'd love to go to Paris. random topic, i know. but i think it'd be amazing to go travelling around Paris. Maybe when we're both older i'll be able to persuade Fo to come with me. come to think of it, why haven't i thought of this before? it would be so cool, and i'm sure Fo would love to come. the only problem is money - i have like none. maybe i'll be able to persuade mum to give me some money to help me get going; and if she helps me with my business maybe i'll be able to make the rest myself. now that, my friend, is a plan.

*couple hours later*

i love Nirvana's music so much.it's too hard to put into words, the rapture they can induce by one simple amazing song like Lithium or Come As You Are..
just realised how freakish that sounded. hehehe.
they say when nothing goes right, go left, but that's bull. cos if nothing goes right, then everything goes left. so really, you'll want to go right if you want to do anything interesting. i know that's not the context the saying is usually taken in, but i wanted to make you think :)
i'm looking through all the photos i've taken, there's this random one of a leaflet. this is what it said:

MONTH OF

SUNDAES

which to be quite honest sounds like the most epic month ever.

"all i can do is be me. whoever that is"~ Bob Marley

i'm feeling generally more cheerful. i wrote a song and a half, finished my english speech (sort of), and went to the cinema. oh, and i went on www.weheartit.com. my mum said i could dye my hair, and i cant wait to do it now. i'm going to buy some new clothes to go with it. maybe i'll just spend the money i'm saving for south africa. i know i shouldn't, but i've got a whole year to replace it right? and it's only £45. i should be able to replace that. to be honest i can't believe i've only got that much, i've been saving for so long. but i guess i've been using my money for the cinema and stuff.
i've been thinking about getting a lip piercing - lower lip, at one side. i think it would look good, especially with the blonde hair. so i'm gonna talk about it to my mum about whether i should get one, but a very tiny stud so no one will notice at school. maybe i'll get a black one so it'll look like a beauty spot or something. i'm not so worried about the pain to be honest, but i'll check it out with people first to see.
we might be moving soon. i'm quite excited, but i guess i'm gonna miss our house. we've lived here for years and years (i'm not sure how long exactly) and it'll be weird living somewhere else.  mum says that hopefully we won't be moving far, so i'll still be able to catch the same bus. but i don't mind that. it's if i have to catch a different bus that worries me. it would be so awkward not knowing where to sit and stuff. it's not like anyone would volunteer to sit next to me.
i love Nirvana...

"it takes a lot of work to figure out how to look so good"~ Andy Warhol

we're on our way home now; i'm sitting in the car writing this, which is harder than it sounds. my consolation for enduring this is i'm going to the cinema with Lorali later. at least i hope we're still going, we only discussed it yesterday.

*later*

i'm at home in bed now, and i feel kinda weird. it's weird to be home i guess, and it's weird not talking to Yanki. but i'm also excited, because soon (hopefully) i'm going blonde! not white-blonde yet,i'm too young apparently, but just having it honey-blonde is going to be an improvement.
i had a good time with Lorali, we watched 'The King's Speech' then freaked out people by swinging round a lamppost like 'Singing in the Rain' while we were waiting to be picked up.

"cool? no. more like the most awesome thing to hit this planet since KURT COBAIN, bitches."~ Pasha Phillips

i'm quite excited to go home now, but i'm dreading school. i haven't done any homework, and while i can probably get away with the art and some of the science, i'll never get away with not doing the english and that's the one i really don't want to do. it's writing a speech on the advantages and disadvantages of having the 'Royal Wedding', which is avout the worst and most obscure topic they could've chosen (don't know what obscure means?? LOOK IT UP, fuckface.). plus i just hate doing homework, to the point where i'm fighting against myself in my head to get myself to do it. and i never win. i think it's partly because i hate being told what to do, and partly because all the things they pick for the tasks are so damn boring. they could at least use their imaginations, however small and shrivelled they may be, and pick something at least halfway towards enjoyable.

my mum was ordering me about, so i retreated to the relative safety of the spare bedroom - although it's only safe now because most of them are distracted by 'Beauty and the Beast'. to be quite honest, that movie is one of the most idiotic i have ever seen.

but i'm not going to waste time writing about 'Beauty and the Beast', for christ's sake. i'm leaving Wales tomorrow, which really i suppose i'm quite sad about - the time seemed to pass so quickly, even though it seems like we didn't do anything really. and i didn't get to see Stefan again. i wonder if he ever thinks about me.
my god, i am such a sap.

"fashions fade, style is forever"~ Coco Chanel

i'm going to change my look, and therefore my life. today i look in the mirror disgusted. i'm ugly, spotty, fat. not to mention the state of my hair. i hate it. the way i look is awful.i'm going to grow out my hair, sort it out properly, bleach it. i'll get thinner, but not too thin, obviously. i've been lazy, but i'll get back on track when school comes around. i have to. 

if i could just convince my mum to let me bleach my hair, once i've grown it of course. but she's so set against it. bloody hypocrite. she's been dyeing her hair since she was TWELVE, for god's sake. and it's my hair anyway, i don't give a damn if she doesn't want me to. but it would be so much easier if she went along with it.

i get so angry with her when she's acting pathetic - which is like ALL THE TIME. she has good reason to be, i know, but it DOES NOT HELP when you've had a awful day and have a hella bad headache, and you come home to find your mother crying in the kitchen. and she always ends being upset after we've talked, even if it was the most mundane thing.

i'm getting too angry now, i feel like i'm going to punch her in the face.